This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
so much tequila, so little girl.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
