the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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