theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
