I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Acid is not a monday night drug
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
This baby is an asshole
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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