She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
