Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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