girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Dick very happy bro
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
