i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
