i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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