despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
