Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
