Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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