Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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