The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
