A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
