He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
