Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
