You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
