that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
