i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
