omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
