69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
