brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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