so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
