how can u be prego again
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Drunk is a universal language darling
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize