Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
