Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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