the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
You're like the curious george of whores
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
