Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
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