Your face is a jimmy john
god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
