I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
