First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Bring me that man meat
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
