god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Randomize
