the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
