That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
