She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I believe in your delicious
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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