Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
