I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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