we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
