Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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