Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
