I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
