so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
