When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Did you just see the Batmobile???
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
