when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Randomize
