I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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