My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Randomize
