Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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