small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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