We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
