Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Randomize
