so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
